Episode 5: Jack Esplin

Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has taught, “An assignment to labor in a specific place is essential and important but secondary to a call to the work.”

Jack Esplin learned this firsthand. Originally assigned to labor in the Bolivia Cochabamba Mission, if you were to ask Esplin, today, where he served, he would say Bolivia and Colombia.

But, even before then, before he left on his mission, he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to go.

“For me, it was mostly just the fact that, you know, we’re commanded to, as young men in the church.” Esplin said.

That changed the moment he entered the MTC. The learning and growth that he experienced because of his mission made it worth it for him.

“I loved that six weeks,” Esplin said. “It was incredible. Just the atmosphere, the spirit that’s there is crazy. And just the new habits that I formed there and the people that I met in my district, my companion and stuff.”

The new habits that he formed at the MTC translated to his determination in learning his mission language.

“I had this notebook,” Esplin said. “I would carry it around in my pocket in Bolivia. [...] I literally would not speak a word of English because I just wanted to learn Spanish so bad. So, I would walk around, and I would write down words and that whole little notebook is just totally filled with words.”

***

Esplin didn’t know it then, but that stubbornness to never give up and finish would serve him well eleven months later.

It started like any other day. It was the day of transfers as well as P-day, and the missionaries were gathered at a church building to say goodbye and play some sports. While there, the missionaries began talking about the political unrest that the country was going through, and their uncertainty amid the situation. It was not long after that that the missionaries were told to remain in their apartments.

According to Esplin, Americans were especially at risk. The missionaries ended up spending about four weeks in their apartments. During that time, they could not wear church clothes or even wear their tags outside. They were surrounded by blockades and burning buildings.

Yet, amidst constant questions and the precarious situation, Esplin felt peace.

“I think, just trusting in the Lord’s plan,” Esplin said. “None of it is how I envisioned it to go. [...] Obviously, it was kind of nerve wracking, and it was kind of scary because I was like, ‘Well, what the heck? Where are we going to go? I don’t want to leave these people already.’ [...] I think I was just trusting in Him because I was like, ‘Yeah, I know that the Lord will make everything work out. Even if it’s not how I expected it to go. It ended up being better than I could have ever imagined.”

That move was only the first of many. He, along with other missionaries, was flown to Brazil and stayed at the Brazil MTC. From the Brazil MTC, Esplin was reassigned to the Colombia Cali Mission. Before going to Cali, Esplin was sent to a third MTC – the Colombia MTC. He stayed there for two weeks and then finally made it to Cali. 

He only stayed in Colombia for four months before COVID-19 struck. As the severity of the virus became clear, church leadership decided that all missionaries with 18 or more months of service would be released and sent home from their mission. At that point, Esplin was at 17 months and three weeks. He thought that he would be able to stay out, but it was determined that he was so close to 18 months that he was sent home.

Esplin’s mission had been a rollercoaster, but this was different.

“I was like, ‘Well, I do get to go home, see my family, and rest and not walk around all the time anymore,’” Esplin said. “But at the same time, I was like ‘Dang, I really wish I could just finish my mission.’”

Despite his desire to finish serving, Esplin realized that the Lord had a different plan for him. That is exactly the advice he would give to missionaries facing a similar situation.

“For anybody that gets reassigned or that has to go home early or anything like that, it’s all because of the Lord’s plan, and He knows what’s best and He knows what’s going to bring us the most happiness,” Esplin said.

***

You can listen to the full episode with Jack Esplin on the media player above. To listen to past and future episodes, search for “Called and Qualified: A Missionary Story Podcast” on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Episode 4: Ashley Drowns

 

**Aside from the name of the missionary, other names have been changed to assure privacy.

Ashley Drowns knew from a young age that she wanted to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She took the motto “every member a missionary” to heart.

Growing up, she was shy but, in an effort to put Ether 12:27 to the test, she turned to prayer.

“When I had the impression that I should try to be more outgoing, try to share the gospel more, I honestly asked God, I was like, ‘I don’t know where to start. What can I do?’” Drowns said.

That is when the Lord provided her with a unique way to strengthen her self-confidence while also sharing her testimony.

When she was 15, she shared the gospel with her friends by giving them “For the Strength of Youth” pamphlets with her testimony written in the cover.

The pinnacle of that experience came when one of her friends accepted a pamphlet, began meeting with the missionaries, and chose to join the Church.

That was a formative experience, one that further lit her desire to serve.

Drowns further prepared by going out with the sister missionaries in her area, and taking lessons from how her brother prepared for his mission.

Drowns opportunity to serve came sooner that she originally planned after then Church president Thomas S. Monson announced the age change for young missionaries in October 2012. With the announcement, sisters could begin serving at 19 instead of 21.

“I was so excited,” Drowns said. “I couldn’t even contain my emotion. I think I might have cried a bit.”

After she had done as much preparation as she could, the call finally came. She was called to the Hungary Budapest Misson and spent nine weeks in the MTC.

Her mission was full of inspiring, motivating, and testimony-building experiences. One such experience centered around one specific person whom she taught.

“[Erin] was already seeing the sister missionaries when I got transferred into the area,” Drowns said. “She was consistently taking the lessons, making improvements to her life. I saw her go from smoking so much a day to going two weeks without smoking at all.”

It was not just smoking, Drowns saw Erin change other things – redefine her life – so that she could become a member of the church that she knew to be true.

“If someone told me, ‘You have to change every aspect of your life in order to do this,’ I would have to be pretty convinced that it was the right thing to do. And she showed so much faith in every aspect of her conversion. I was learning from her the whole time.”

Erin was ultimately baptized in a motel hot tub. Her faith served as a light for Drowns when she faced her own challenge.

***

Perhaps, Drowns’ most life changing moment from her mission had nothing to do with teaching the gospel to others but what she learned for herself.

Drowns came home from her mission six months early. She had never experienced depression before.

“I was realizing that as I was going day to day that something was changed,” Drowns said. “And I really didn’t want it to be a change that I couldn’t handle or that He couldn’t get me through.”

Drowns did everything she could to be able to serve through the struggle. She talked with her mission president and received permission for one of the elders in the area to give her a priesthood blessing.

In that blessing, Drowns was told that she should stay in Hungary and complete her mission. However, not long after, her mission president said that he felt prompted to send her home.

Drowns was thoroughly confused.

“A week later, I was given the opposite message from somebody who also was in a position to receive revelation from God,” Drowns said. “How can you reconcile that? And that was a question I had for years. The question is ‘Why would God say to me that I should stay and then send me home a week later?’”

Wrestling with that question led Drowns to the story found in Genesis 22.

Thousands of years prior, Abraham had been given that same conundrum, when the Lord instructed him to sacrifice his son, a son which he had been blessed with after years of effort and struggle. In faith, Abraham went forward with the command. It was only when he was about to go through with it that an angel stopped him and saved Isaac.

That story from the past gave peace to Drowns in her present.

“I felt at that moment that that’s exactly what God had done to me as far as testing my heart, testing my obedience, testing my love,” Drowns said. “He wanted to see if I was willing to load up that donkey, prepare with wood, take all of my doubts up the top of that mountain and lay them down on the alter and obey when He said stay. But then, give me what He knew I needed, which was to see my family.”

When she returned home, the majority of the reception was positive and loving, which is what she says is important for anyone to convey to the missionaries they know who return home ahead of schedule.

“Genuinely show interest in their well-being outside of wanting to know what happened because they’re still a person and they still have things that they’re working through,” Drowns said. “I told you, it took me years to find that answer. I think it was at least four years later. Four years. If the person, then, didn’t have an answer for you that day. I mean, unless you know me four years later, you’re not going to know the answer because I don’t have it.”

For those who came home early for any reason, Drowns highly recommends messages and talks from President Jeffrey R. Holland.

***

You can listen to the full episode with Ashley Drowns on the media player above. To listen to past and future episodes, search for “Called and Qualified: A Missionary Story Podcast” on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Episode 3: Dallin Slater

At first, Ammon, Idaho native, Dallin Slater, didn't picture himself serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He would see his friends come home from their missions and how difficult it was for them to transition back into everyday life that he didn't want that struggle, and he didn't want to go to college.

Instead, he decided to serve his country in the National Guard. However, while Slater was in basic training, he changed course one more time.

"Definitely a lot of mixed emotions," Slater said. "I submitted my papers while I was in training, and so that was a lot of weird feelings going on there. Right? Because I'm like, focusing on my training and stuff like that."

When he thought of himself on a mission, he saw himself serving in New Mexico. The Lord had dramatically different plans. Slater was called to the Dominican Republic.

Slater didn't know much about the island or its culture, but he figured it out quickly.

"I was like, 'Okay, where is the Dominican Republic?'" Slater said. "I remember I studied a little bit of the geographics in Spanish class, but I had no idea it was in the Caribbean. Like, okay, Spanish speaking. I thought I'd be playing soccer, but no, it was baseball. It took me a while to actually get comfortable with that was my mission call. Like, this is where I am going. Like, that is for me."

As an Elder called to speak Spanish, Slater learned at the Mexico MTC, a place that Slater calls "a paradise on earth."

"I love that place," he said. "I am so jealous of anyone who gets called there and gets to do their MTC there, because it literally is a heaven on earth because it's just this campus in the middle of the city and there's parrots and birds flying around, and you just feel like it's literally set apart from society."

There, Slater had to objectives: learn how to be a missionary, and learn passable Spanish. When he left the MTC, Slater thought he knew all he needed to know about Spanish, but when he arrived in the Dominican Republic, he learned that that couldn't have been farther from the truth.

"I thought I could understand Spanish going in, but really, I went to the Dominican Republic to learn Dominican Spanish," he said. "All the members, I'd be like, 'Yeah, I'm going to go back [and] study Spanish.' Like, 'Oh, yeah, you're gonna need to study Spanish because you speak Dominican."

Whether he spoke clearly or not, Slater says he accomplished one of the most important things he could have ever done while he was there.

"I got called to the Dominican Republic so I could better get to know my Savior," he said. "I feel like God needed me to get to know his Son better."

That he did. Though, perhaps, not in the way he expected or wanted. Midway through his service, Slater began to feel sick, and he couldn't shake it. It got to the point that the mission nurse told him and his companion to go get tested for parasites. When the results came in, it showed something surprising — Slater's companion had parasites, but Slater did not.

Despite what the tests said, Slater got worse. He got retested, and this time it showed that he not only had one parasite, he had three. 

In an effort to get him the best help possible, Slater was moved to the city. After some time and antibiotics, Slater began to feel better. That didn't last, though.

Ultimately, the difficult decision was made that he needed to come home. When the decision was made, Slater was torn. He knew that going home would allow him to receive the help he needed, but he had worked so hard to go out in the first place, and he was just two transfers away from finishing.

"It hurt so bad," he recalled. "I'm not going to lie. I came home. I was very angry. I was very mad. I'd always ask why. I tried my best. I did a lot of preparation before the mission so I could stick it out, you know?"

Despite his uncertainty and disappointment, Slater did recognize tender mercies. When he left the Dominican Republic, he wasn't alone. He traveled with his mission president and the area presidency.

Returning home may have answered one question, but it also produced more question marks. What would he do now? When would he get to feeling better? Would he be able to go back out.

As Slater recovered, some of the fog surrounding Slater's situation dissipated as well. For one thing, with just two transfers remaining on his mission, Slater soon learned that he would not go back out. Instead, he had to options: finish and be honorably released, or finish the last two transfers via a service mission.

Even though Slater was welcomed home with open arms, he still felt that he didn't finish. His perspective changed when his dad's friend visited.

"I was just talking to him and I was like, 'Man, I wish I could like, finished out strong, you know?' Slater remembers. "I was still contemplating how was I was going to go about doing the service mission. Like, 'Dude, you did it. Like, 'That was what God required of you. Don't look back and be like, 'Oh, I didn't finish.' Like, you went and served a mission. You served a worthy mission.'"

Slater opted for a service mission. Over that time, Slater worked in baptistry and in different areas of the temple, continuing to learn and grow as he served.

Now, Slater can confidently say that he indeed "did it." He "served a worthy mission."

When asked what people could do to support those who come home early from their mission for any reason, he recommended making sure they feel loved.

"You just love them," he said. "Honestly, that was one thing. There is such a stigma about it, and it's so frustrating. People need to understand and accept that. [...] Just because it's different doesn't mean it's wrong."

***

You can listen to the full episode with Ashley Drowns on the media player above. To listen to past and future episodes, search for “Called and Qualified: A Missionary Story Podcast” on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Episode 2: Samuel Ralph

 

“You’ll never know how far you can push yourself if you don’t get out there and do it.”

Serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the Pennsylvania Philadelphia Mission is one moment in time when Samuel Ralph found out what he could do.

Ralph grew up in Kent, Washington, with his parents who taught him that he had as much potential as anyone and the ability to bless the lives of people that he came in contact with. So, despite living with Cerebral Palsy and strabismus, he knew from a young age that he wanted to serve a mission.

“I knew deep down that I wanted to serve a mission,” Ralph said. “I actually made that promise to myself, you know, no matter what. When I was actually baptized and still technically in primary that, you know, I would.”

However, Ralph and his family knew that the gap between desire and durability was the problem. Ralph knew that he wouldn’t be able to accomplish his goal of serving a mission without going through the necessary steps to physically prepare himself. With that as motivation, Ralph and his family took the matter to prayer. They went to the temple and had serious, heartfelt discussions.

After much research, Ralph came to the conclusion that in order to go where he wanted to be and where the Lord needed him to be, surgery was required. He had undergone several surgeries in the past, but this was different.

“I severely underestimated how serious the surgery would actually be because it was complete reconstruction of the foot to make sure I had at least a decent chance to hold up physically,” Ralph said. “With the physical therapy, it was, in total, about a four-and-a-half-month total recovery for both feet.”

That recovery was full of challenging moments—times that led Ralph to wonder if he was doing the right thing.

That is not to say that once he made it to the mission field, he glided through his mission. Some of his most challenging, heart wrenching experiences came during his mission. These periods drove him to his knees many nights. It was during those times that he gained a deeper appreciation for the priesthood and priesthood blessings.

He recalled when particularly difficult time during which he asked his companion and zone leaders for a blessing after a meeting.

“After that blessing, I felt like a weight had been lifted,” he said. “I felt confident that, that I could finish out the transfer strong, and that I could finish working on my goals, but also [help] my companion work on his goals as well so that we could be more unified.”

Thinking back on it now, Ralph would tell you that was absolutely all worth it. Worth it because of the lessons he learned. Worth it because of the people he touched and who touched him.

While in the mission field, Ralph used his challenges to help teach others. He went on to train a new missionary, was blessed to guide several people to the waters of baptism and help others to accept that invitation in the future.

“That was probably one of my greatest joys and greatest blessings on the mission, was seeing those seeds that I had planted previously being sowed and […] seeing those people come to the knowledge of their Savior and to take that next step,” he said.

Ralph has one piece of advice for anyone wondering whether they should serve a mission:

“Go out and do it,” he said. “Continue to push yourself, because you never know where you will end up if you don’t go out and push yourself. Become the best version you can be.”

***

You can listen to the full episode with Samuel Ralph on the media player above. To listen to past and future episodes, search for “Called and Qualified: A Missionary Story Podcast” on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Episode 1: The Origin Story

 

Six years.

That is how long I prepared to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Really, as someone who was born and raised in the church, I had been preparing to serve for my entire life up to the point I left.

As a young man in the Church, I was taught that I had a choice of whether or not to serve, but I was also taught that as a priesthood holder, it was my duty. Beyond the expectation, I WANTED to serve, I wanted that experience.

However, there was something different that I had to overcome to fulfill my dream. I had cerebral palsy. As the firstborn, my parents were new to the whole parenting thing. So, they did not know what benchmarks and milestones I was supposed to hit as I grew.

As my dad went to work, he would talk about me and my progress. It was not until one of his coworkers alerted him that I was not reaching those normal benchmarks that my parents had any inkling that something was wrong.

They concluded that they needed to take me to the doctor, and when they did, they learned that something was indeed abnormal. They were told by the pediatrician that there was a chance that I would not be able to walk and that I would be confined to a wheelchair. In spite of this, they believed that the Lord had sent me to them for a reason. I was theirs. They loved me, unconditionally. Nothing was going to change that.

***

Growing up, they allowed me to dream. They told me that anything was possible, and they made every effort to give me the chance to fulfill every dream I had.

For example, at two, I fell in love with the game of baseball and wanted to play. Instead of telling me that I couldn’t, they joined forces with our home teacher to create a Challenger Little League in my hometown.

I never heard the word impossible out of their mouths when it came to my goals and aspirations. They also chose to support instead of suppressing my young dreams. Consequently, as I grew and my dreams grew with me, the term ‘impossible’ was never in my vocabulary.

That played a large part in my determination to serve a mission. I knew it was possible because I wanted it.

***

In no way did that translate to an easy path to my goal—far from it. As long as I can remember until about the age of 10 or 11, I underwent Botox injections twice a year. These injections helped to loosen my tight hamstrings and gastrocs so that I had the best chance to walk better. This was never meant to be a permanent fix. It was only meant to hold me over until my body was ready for surgery. We had to wait until my body was more developed and reached a certain point.

That long-awaited day finally came in the summer of my freshman year of high school. I remember that day well. The doctor sat my parents and me down and gave me two options. Option one: I don’t have the surgery and my body holds out for a while longer, but I would be in a wheelchair in my 20s because my knees would give out, or, option two: I have the surgery and stay mobile for a longtime to come.

In the back of my mind, I knew that surgery was the right decision, that in order for me to be able to serve the Lord the way that I wanted, I needed the operation. So, my parents and I agreed on that course of action. It wasn’t easy. I certainly cried some as the reality of what lay ahead came into sharp focus. But it seemed, all along, that this was what I was meant to go through.

The doctor spent the remainder of the appointment explaining to me what to expect and what would happen. They first needed to reconstruct the arches in my severely flat feet. They then would move up the leg, where they would cut ‘z’s into my heel cords and hamstrings. All of this meant no weightbearing for six weeks.

Though difficult, the whole process seemed pretty cut and dry. Six weeks and I would be able to leave. There was something else that my family was facing though, something that I could not control. In 2005, my mom had been diagnosed with cancer and had been in and out of remission ever since. So, during those six weeks, not only did we have to worry about my health, but we had to juggle the wellbeing of my mom too.

It’s funny how, even though I was simply laying in bed for six weeks, those were some of the most taxing six weeks of my life. Not to mention the toll they took on my entire family. Working through the logistics of getting me to seminary in the morning and then from seminary to high school were an example of just how hard the process was.

Even though I was healing, not able to walk, and pretty helpless on my own, I still needed to go to school, and I still needed and wanted to attend seminary. To solve this conundrum, my Young Men’s leader and dear family friend would drive over to my house at around 6:30 a.m. every weekday morning and help my dad get me from my chair into our car so that I could go to seminary. I will forever be grateful for him and his sacrifice.

It was because of the ministering efforts and friends like him, and thanks to the tireless love and 24/7 care of my parents, sister, ward members and family that I made it!

That one surgery was not the end like we had hoped though. Unforeseen circumstances led to what ended up being four more surgeries in the span of six years. Surgeries to reconstruct the arches in my feet after they had collapsed again, fix a pigeon toe on my right foot, then on my left, and finally, to treat a surgical infection.

Each time this happened, I was sent back to square one. I spent six more weeks in bed. In fact, if you were to add up all of the time I spent in bed over that period, it comes out to about eight months. Words cannot express how hard that was for me. But that is also where I learned my first major lesson from Heavenly Father, a lesson that I carried with me into the mission field and beyond.

***

During those six-week intervals, I learned the meaning of patience and, as President Russell M. Nelson put it so eloquently, thinking celestial.

At first, as I would see friends leave on their missions, I would think to myself, “I’ll be right behind them.” However, as time passed, those thoughts of optimism turned slowly into thoughts of self-pity and anger. I would often ask, “Why me?” I was doing this so that I could help the Lord. Why would he exact this price from me?

The person that fielded many of those questions was my mom. You see, at this point, she continued to battle cancer and was good enough to watch and take care of me during the day while my dad was at work and my sister was at school. We would have many long, heartfelt conversations where she would console me, but also impart wisdom. She helped me to keep that eternal view. During those days, we spent a lot of time together. Time that I would not trade for anything, because, as I came to find out not long after, the Lord knew why I needed to stay as long as I did. He was indeed blessing me even though I could not see it then.

Not long after my last major operation, my mom’s health headed downhill quickly. She passed away not long after I had begun and submitted my mission papers. Looking back, if I had left for my mission when I wanted to, I would have only got about three good months with my mom when I got home; instead, the Lord allowed me to have additional years with my mom.

The Lord is beyond good. He knows what each of His children need and looks for every opportunity to bless them. All we need to do is be willing to accept His guidance and go with it.

***

I received my call a month to the day that my mom passed away. July 9, 2018. That night, I gathered with family and friends in my living room to read the letter that I had been working and wanting to receive for six long years.

“Dear Elder Guadagnin,” I read. “You are called to serve as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the…”

Nebraska Omaha Mission!

Words cannot express how excited I was to read that.

I was often asked, “What did you think when you were called to Nebraska?” I think the people that asked me that question were often not prepared for the answer that I would give. Once I explained what it took for me to go and that all I wanted to do was serve, their countenance changed.

Ultimately, the reason for this podcast and blog is to do just that, serve and share. I am of the opinion that the Lord gives us challenges and trials in this life to mold and shape us into the people He wants us to become. That is true, but I think we have these experiences so that we can share them with and bless the lives of others.

There were many instances on my mission where I was able to draw on my experiences to help someone my companion and I were teaching. My experiences helped me to connect with them in a way that no one else could; just as the experiences of my companions helped others that I could not have reached.

As you listen to this, and subsequent episodes, I hope and pray that you will be inspired to push through and serve the Lord because there is someone out there that only you can touch.

Anything is possible.

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” (Philippians 4:13).

***

To hear more about my mission, including stories in miracles, listen in the player above, or follow the show on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. New episodes drop every Monday.