Episode 4: Ashley Drowns

 

**Aside from the name of the missionary, other names have been changed to assure privacy.

Ashley Drowns knew from a young age that she wanted to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She took the motto “every member a missionary” to heart.

Growing up, she was shy but, in an effort to put Ether 12:27 to the test, she turned to prayer.

“When I had the impression that I should try to be more outgoing, try to share the gospel more, I honestly asked God, I was like, ‘I don’t know where to start. What can I do?’” Drowns said.

That is when the Lord provided her with a unique way to strengthen her self-confidence while also sharing her testimony.

When she was 15, she shared the gospel with her friends by giving them “For the Strength of Youth” pamphlets with her testimony written in the cover.

The pinnacle of that experience came when one of her friends accepted a pamphlet, began meeting with the missionaries, and chose to join the Church.

That was a formative experience, one that further lit her desire to serve.

Drowns further prepared by going out with the sister missionaries in her area, and taking lessons from how her brother prepared for his mission.

Drowns opportunity to serve came sooner that she originally planned after then Church president Thomas S. Monson announced the age change for young missionaries in October 2012. With the announcement, sisters could begin serving at 19 instead of 21.

“I was so excited,” Drowns said. “I couldn’t even contain my emotion. I think I might have cried a bit.”

After she had done as much preparation as she could, the call finally came. She was called to the Hungary Budapest Misson and spent nine weeks in the MTC.

Her mission was full of inspiring, motivating, and testimony-building experiences. One such experience centered around one specific person whom she taught.

“[Erin] was already seeing the sister missionaries when I got transferred into the area,” Drowns said. “She was consistently taking the lessons, making improvements to her life. I saw her go from smoking so much a day to going two weeks without smoking at all.”

It was not just smoking, Drowns saw Erin change other things – redefine her life – so that she could become a member of the church that she knew to be true.

“If someone told me, ‘You have to change every aspect of your life in order to do this,’ I would have to be pretty convinced that it was the right thing to do. And she showed so much faith in every aspect of her conversion. I was learning from her the whole time.”

Erin was ultimately baptized in a motel hot tub. Her faith served as a light for Drowns when she faced her own challenge.

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Perhaps, Drowns’ most life changing moment from her mission had nothing to do with teaching the gospel to others but what she learned for herself.

Drowns came home from her mission six months early. She had never experienced depression before.

“I was realizing that as I was going day to day that something was changed,” Drowns said. “And I really didn’t want it to be a change that I couldn’t handle or that He couldn’t get me through.”

Drowns did everything she could to be able to serve through the struggle. She talked with her mission president and received permission for one of the elders in the area to give her a priesthood blessing.

In that blessing, Drowns was told that she should stay in Hungary and complete her mission. However, not long after, her mission president said that he felt prompted to send her home.

Drowns was thoroughly confused.

“A week later, I was given the opposite message from somebody who also was in a position to receive revelation from God,” Drowns said. “How can you reconcile that? And that was a question I had for years. The question is ‘Why would God say to me that I should stay and then send me home a week later?’”

Wrestling with that question led Drowns to the story found in Genesis 22.

Thousands of years prior, Abraham had been given that same conundrum, when the Lord instructed him to sacrifice his son, a son which he had been blessed with after years of effort and struggle. In faith, Abraham went forward with the command. It was only when he was about to go through with it that an angel stopped him and saved Isaac.

That story from the past gave peace to Drowns in her present.

“I felt at that moment that that’s exactly what God had done to me as far as testing my heart, testing my obedience, testing my love,” Drowns said. “He wanted to see if I was willing to load up that donkey, prepare with wood, take all of my doubts up the top of that mountain and lay them down on the alter and obey when He said stay. But then, give me what He knew I needed, which was to see my family.”

When she returned home, the majority of the reception was positive and loving, which is what she says is important for anyone to convey to the missionaries they know who return home ahead of schedule.

“Genuinely show interest in their well-being outside of wanting to know what happened because they’re still a person and they still have things that they’re working through,” Drowns said. “I told you, it took me years to find that answer. I think it was at least four years later. Four years. If the person, then, didn’t have an answer for you that day. I mean, unless you know me four years later, you’re not going to know the answer because I don’t have it.”

For those who came home early for any reason, Drowns highly recommends messages and talks from President Jeffrey R. Holland.

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You can listen to the full episode with Ashley Drowns on the media player above. To listen to past and future episodes, search for “Called and Qualified: A Missionary Story Podcast” on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.